CRE4: Courtship and Marriage in the Church History

This unit describes the concept of Marriage in the Church History.

What is Monogamy

Monogamy was initially defined as the practice of being married to only one person during your lifetime. In modern times, monogamy also refers to both the practice of being married to one person at a time. Today, monogamy can refer both to marriage or relationships that last for an extended length of time.Image result for marriage in church history

Monogamy as the ideal type of marriage (1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Corinthians 7: 1 – 2)

1 Timothy 3:2, (ESV): “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,”

b. It is good for a man not to touch a woman: Here, “touch” is used in the sense of having sexual relations. This was probably a statement made by the Corinthian Christians, which they were asking Paul to agree with. Paul will agree with the statement, but not without reservation – the Nevertheless of verse two.

i. Why would the Corinthian Christians suggest complete celibacy – which is what is meant by a man not to touch a woman? They probably figured that if sexual immorality was such a danger, then one could be more pure by abstaining from sex altogether, even in marriage.

ii. “The idea that marriage was a less holy state than celibacy, naturally led to the conclusion that married persons ought to separate, and it soon came to be regarded as an evidence of eminent spirituality when such a separation was final.” (Hodge)

c. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband: In light of the danger of sexual immorality (ever present in the Corinthian culture – and our own), it is appropriate for husband and wife to have each other in a sexual sense.

i. Paul is not commanding the Corinthian Christians to get married (an issue he deals with later in the chapter), but a command to live as a married person, especially in the sexual sense. Paul is saying that husbands and wives should be having sexual relations.

ii. “What miserable work has been made in the peace of families by a wife or a husband pretending to be wiser than the apostle, and too holy and spiritual to keep the commandments of God!” (Clarke)

Understanding of marriage in  church history

Image result for marriage in church historyJews considered marriage a commandment, but one intended to benefit the wider community by ensuring stability and economic prosperity.

By contrast, early Christian communities promoted celibacy and often scorned marriage, since marrying and establishing a household distracted people from preparing for the kingdom of God.

God himself is the author of marriage. The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes.

If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: Paul’s recommendation to marry in such cases is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, especially relevant to his day (as explained in (1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God’s plan for meeting our sexual needs.

i. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn’t want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual’s gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons(1 Timothy 4:1-3).

ii. Paul “was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly.” (Calvin)

d. It is better to marry than to burn with passion: Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or nonspiritual because they desire to get married so as to not burn with passion.

i. Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation. “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat … what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)

ii. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been grieved to find that his lust for other women did not magically “go away” when he got married.

The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble; God himself has determined it, ‘what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder’. This unequivocal insistence on the indissolubility of the marriage bond may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize.

The essentials and non –essentials of Christian Wedding


The Ring

When it comes to Christian Wedding Traditions, the ring is probably one of the most important traditions.  As a Christian Wedding Photographer, I love capturing the ring in as many photos as I can.  The ring represents unbreakable and endless love.

In Christianity, the ring is an outward symbol of the couple’s bond with the representation of a never-ending circle.  A ring used to be used (and sometimes still used) as a symbol of authority, as can be seen in the creation of legal documents.  You press a ring into hot wax and then use it to stamp legal documents.  Therefore, when a couple wears a ring, they are prioritizing their relationship to God over their marriage.

The ring also represents resources.  When a groom gives his bride a ring, he is offering her all of his resources such as his: wealth, emotions, love, belongings, and experiences.

 Marriage license*

*The marriage license requirements for Christian weddings are the same as for Catholic weddings and usually vary depending on the city you’re filing with

 Approval and Bless from Each Parents

Approval and bless from each parents is the more important things. Almost every pastor in church not want doing counseling premarital if each parents not bless the marriage and approval. Because parents is trustee from God. The parents will be responsible to God about their children. (Matthew 15: 4, “For God said: ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.”).

 White Wedding Dress

Sometimes some people curious about the wedding dress. Why it has to white? Why not blue or red or purple or others? After collecting some information, it very meaningful. First, White Color has meaning of purity. Second, as symbol of righteousness of Christ described in Revelation 19:7-8, “7)

The Worship Song

Usually in every christian wedding traditions, they always sing worship song. At least minimum two songs. (Colossians 3:16,”Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”). Because worship song is very important in christian. This is can be symbolize that how they, the bride and groom, family, and guests, thankfully to God whom unite them and bless the wedding.

Witnesses and Guests to the ceremony

After the couple, the bride and groom, say the Wedding vows, the pastor will ask the audience, the family and the guests. Are they acceptance this relationship? Are they acceptance this covenant? If they are not accept it, the wedding will be held until they acceptance or the wedding will be continue in another time.Image result for marriage in church history

Foot Washing Ceremony

This one is no joke. Foot washing is only for those Christian couples who seriously want to imitate Jesus at their wedding ceremony. And aren’t afraid of a few potentially awkward moments. Or raised eyebrows.

Sure, some guests will think it’s weird that you would kneel down in your wedding dress/suit, take off your shoes, and pour water on each other’s feet. But it’s also humble, shows your commitment to serve, and points to Jesus. After all, it models his display of service in washing his disciples’ feet at the Last Supper (John 13:1-17).

Tying of the Threefold Cord

Don’t want to be like everyone else these days with their unity candles or unity sand or unity paintings? You can get biblical with it and show that your marriage is about more than just the two of you by incorporating a threefold cord tying ceremony.

The idea comes from Ecclesiastes 4:12 which notes that “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” One strand for the bride, one for the groom, and one for God. It’s definitely harder to break than a unity candle is to blow out.


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