VOIP Phone Selection

Imagine you went to sleep one night and awoke to find yourself sitting at a
table, on an alien space ship, with a view of space streaking by. And
imagine that a friendly looking alien was sitting on the other side of the
table.

After all the WTFs and pleasantries, the alien explains that they are doing
a 400,000 year study about meaning. He then asks you a simple question:

I think most smart people would find their own answers, if sitting on an
alien space ship looking down at Earth, or at the Milky Way, to be grossly
inadequate. So much so as to be embarrassing.

Luckily for you, I am saving you that feeling by asking you the question
now, here, without the scrutiny of an entire alien civilization. This way,
you have the opportunity to be embarrassed by yourself and you can make
changes accordingly without anyone knowing.

I’m a service provider.

What Do You Do?

Let’s take me for example. I work for a multi-billion-dollar corporation
that sells things. It sells things so that the people who sell them can get
rich. That is the goal.

I’m asked by the alien how long I must hibernate each cycle. “Eight out of
twenty-four.”, I answer.

He gasps visibly. “Wow, that’s worse than most we see.” He does some mental
arithmetic and seems a bit confused. “So you sleep for 8 hours of your
24-based cycle, and then for another 9-10 of that you are given some measure
of compensation to help others become wealthy?”

Unhappy with the way he phrased the question, I think about how I would say
it in a better way. Meaning, a way that doesn’t make me look so stupid.
Nope…there isn’t really one. It’s just stupid.

Basically, if you spend your entire life either doing something like this
(or preparing to do it)–I’d argue you’re leading an empty existence. Some
may argue that it’s all worth it because it’s being done so that you can
raise successful children.

Sadly, for most of these people what they really mean by “successful” is
doing the same thing as them in WidgetLand, i.e.:

No. Fail. Reconsider. I beg you.

Live your life so that if you end up on an alien ship that’s studying
meaning, you’ll have a better answer to give them about your life than, “I
help BazillionCorp make widgets.” And whatever you do, no matter what, don’t
answer, “I hate making widgets for BazillionCorp, but I get meaning out of
it because I’m helping my kids become widget-makers for BazillionCorp.”

There’s no other word for this than “disgusting”. ::