CHAPTER 2 : MARRIAGE

Introduction

In this chapter, you will study the purpose of marriage as an instrument of the promotion of love and companionship. This will bring you to the types of marriage in Uganda and you will know how those types of marriage promote respect for the law of the land and culture

The purpose of marriage

Activity 2.1 Studying the picture and performing the tasks that follow

In groups,

1. Describe what you think is happening in the picture.

2.Briefly write the meaning of that ceremony.

3. What do you think is the purpose of such a ceremony?

In order for you to understand marriage, read the story in the next activity and find out more.

ctivity 2.2

Reading the story and performing the tasks that follow

Read the story below carefully and use it to appreciate marriage as a custodian of the values of love and honesty.

Nabulya is a 33year old woman. She lives in Bugolo village. Her husband is a casual labourer. He does odd jobs to earn a living and sustain his family. He moves from one place to another and rarely settles at home.

Nabulya’s friends threaten her that her husband must be having other women out there. She laughs it off and assures them that she loves her husband. The husband brings lots of things for his family every time he comes back from work. The family is happy every time he is around. This is because they are honest with each other. They are living happily with their three children..

In groups,

1. Summarise the message in the story.

2.Share what you think has helped Nabulya’s marriage to survive.

3. Discuss the moral lessons we get from the story.

4. Share your views with the teacher and the rest of the class.

Marriage is the relationship that exists between man and woman as husband and wife, respectively. It is the beginning of a family and it is a lifelong commitment. It provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also a spiritual and emotional union. It brings about oneness and gives a chance to deep satisfying love. The children raised in marriage get good parenting. The prophet said: “The assembly of young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting evil glances and preserves one from immorality, but those who cannot, should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of controlling sexual desires (Muslim).”

The importance of courtship

Activity 2.3 Describing the importance of courtship

Before marriage, all couples usually go through courtship. Pair up and brainstorm the meaning of courtship. Share your answers with the whole class Islam believes the choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person makes in life. It should not be taken lightly. It should be taken with a lot of care, prayer, love and family investigation. In groups, share how your tribe makes courtship. Share your answers with the whole class. Islam is very strict on matters of boy/girl relationships. No form of interaction especially physical is allowed between people of opposite sex unless they are related by blood. The holy Prophet (PBUH) is reported to have said that; ..No one of you should meet a woman alone unless he is accompanied by a relative”

In groups,

1. Share your opinion about what courtship is.
2. Write short notes on the benefits of courtship.
3. What do you think is likely to happen when a couple is not given time for courtship?

4.Why do you think Islam discourages deep courting? (Doing courtship without limitations)

In Islam it is advisable to have courtship period so that the partners take some time to know one another, know one’s abilities, background, morals and develop love for each other.

This period will decrease on domestic violence in a home during their marriage because each of them will be sure of their partner.

Do some research around your community, ask people how the courtship period is important in their lives. Discuss with friends.

Problem of the absence of courtship period before marriage

Since you have already learnt about the importance of courtship, think about a couple that did not have courtship, will they be married? In your groups, read the following story carefully and use it to appreciate the purpose of courtship.

Activity 2.4 Reading the story and performing the tasks that follow

Mzee Ahmad Marries off His Daughter

Asumin was mzee Ahmad’s daughter. When she reached the marriage age, her father never gave her a chance to choose a husband for herself. He wanted her to get married to a wealthy Muslim man. At the introduction ceremony, the man brought a lot of gifts for the family and the neighbours. Asumin’s father was very pleased about this. However, Asumin’s marriage did not last long. She ran away.

1. Share with your groupmates if you would have accepted such a kind of marriage if you were Asumin to please your parents.
2. Discuss why you think the marriage never lasted.
3. Suggest what you think should be done to avoid such Occurrences.

In Islam there are steps to take when one is choosing a marriage partner. One can choose a partner of his/her choice, one’s beauty. wealth and many more others but the Islamic marriage considers the proper way like, the partners must get married when they are virgins, they should not leave together before Nikkah (marriage). So for Nikkah to happen there must be dowry (mahr) given to the woman and acceptance, among other conditions.

Cooperation between husband and wife

Islam encourages people of age to get married. Once married, they are supposed to live harmoniously. There should be co-operation between husband and wife.

Even in cases of polygamy, the husband should enjoy harmony and peace with his wife.

Marriage is supposed to be an enjoyable institution. Otherwise, the married couple should not stay together. It also says 2:223: “Your wives are a tilth for you so go to your tilth when and how you will, and send (good deeds or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offsprings) before you for your ownselves.

Activity 2.5 Reading Surahs and the performing tasks that follow

The Qur’an states: “and if you fear that you will not be fair in dealing with the orphans, then marry of women as may be agreeable of you, two, or three, or four; and if you fear that you will not deal justly, then marry only one or what your right hands possess. That is the nearest way for you to avoid injustice.” From this verse, we learn that Allah enjoins equity, justice and fairness (4:25).

In groups,

1. Read carefully chapters: 4:5, 25, 61/2: 229,232/65:71 and share the message therein.

2.Brainstorm the meaning of companionship and cooperation.

3. What lessons about marriage do we get from the verses above?

4. How do men and women prepare for marriage in your community?

5. Visit a school sheikh and request him to give you information about how companionship and cooperation can be established between a husband and a wife 6. Record the information by the help of technology or by writing.

You will realise that the following aspects are considered in:

1. Choosing a marriage partner beauty

-background

-wealth

-religious strength

-Who should marry

– physically able

-of age

-sound mind/mentally stable

-financially able

The holy Prophet (PBUH) emphasised marriage on religious grounds He said, “Do not marry only for the sake of beauty, may be the beauty becomes the cause of moral decline. Do not marry ever for the sake of wealth. May be the wealth becomes the reason for disobedience. Marry rather on the ground of religious devotion (Bukhari and Muslim).

Types of marriages in Uganda

There are different types of marriages recognised in Uganda. Can you mention any?

In the next activity you will discover the types of marriage recognised in Uganda.

In groups,

1. Identify the different types of marriages in the Figures 2.31.(a), (b) and 2.4 above.

2. Share about the type that is most common in your community.

3.Write in your notebooks the similarities and differences between them.

4. Give opinions on why people choose a particular type of marriage.

5.Discuss the values promoted in each type of marriage.

6.Share your views with the teacher and the rest of the class.

In your communities, you have evidenced at least some types of marriages, mainly religious and traditional marriages. There is the civil marriage that is done in the courts of law, traditional marriage by parents, religious marriage by church, Islamic marriage by mosque, and others. Share with others any other type of marriage you know They all have similarities but still have differences.

It should be noted that the Islamic marriage is legalised by the man (groom) giving out dowry (Mahr) and the lady accepting the dowry That shows both their readiness to begin the marriage. Q 4:4 and give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart…”

Marriage in the modern world today

Unlike the marriages in the past, today there are so many changes that have taken place.

Work through the next activity to discover the changes.

In groups,

1.Describe the marriage in the past and how it was in terms of behaviour. What did the society expect of them?

2. How can you describe the kind of marriage in the picture in Figure 2.5?

3. What do you think has changed?
4. How have the changes affected marriage in general?
5. Discuss what you think can be the possible solutions to these problems.
6. What are the features of a modern marriage?
7. Share your views with the teacher and the rest of the class

Marriage is an institution with different values, gains and challenges. However, at times modern marriage challenges differ from the traditional ones. For example, with modern marriage when finances are not stable or when there is bankruptcy, the marriage may fail since that may have been the bond. This is not the case with traditional marriage. But the solution can be hard work, counselling and many others.

Practices that affect the marriage institution in Uganda

You have discovered the social and ethical issues in marriages today. In this section, you will find out practices in Uganda that affect the marriage institution. As you read the story in Activity 2.8, you will learn more about such practices.

Activity 2.8 Reading the story and performing the tasks that follow

Dhauke, THE MAN

Dhauke is a 27year old man. He is married to two wives. They stay in different places. He therefore moves from one home to another in an effort to fulfill his family responsibilities. However, one of his two wives takes advantage of his absence to move out with other men.

One day, Dhauke came back home without alerting his cheating wife. She had left the house open and the husband went straight to the bedroom. Hardly had he settled on the bed when her wife came back in company of another man. They too went direct to the bedroom.

Tasks

1.What is the major problem addressed in the story?

2. Why in your opinion do you think it happened?
3. If you were an elder, how would you counsel the husband and the wives?

Though marriage is intended for love, companionship and procreation in the present society, the marriage institution is facing many challenge

Activity 2.9 Reading and interpreting the scenario and performing the tasks that follow

Mariam and Abdul Razak are preparing for their wedding next month. They have invited many of their friends for their wedding meetings. You are one of them.

1. As a friend, explain to the couple the purpose of marriage as an instrument of the promotion of love and companionship.

2.Talk to them about the different types of marriage so that they agree on which one to make.